I'm just like anyone else.
I doubt whether I'm really capable of what I set my sights on.
I question whether I'm worth all the effort.
I wonder if I'll ever find what I'm looking for.
I worry that I won't understand what's really important.
I convince myself that life is stronger than I am.
These past few weeks, now that I have the time to pause and think about my life and what lies ahead, I have to be honest in saying that I'm scared out of my mind. What if I FAIL? What if I make a huge move and fall face first without anyone there to catch me? In a few short weeks I'll make a move to NYC. I'll leave the comfort of home, the love of friends and family and the support system that has kept me sane the past few years and instead I'll jump right into the hustle and bustle of a HUGE city.
Some may say...
Awesome.
Others may say...
You're crazy.
I hope more than anything that I can find my footing. Sure, I know the first few weeks may be rough. But isn't that the same with anything new? We stumble and we're awkward for a while until we learn that the only reason we're being awkward is that we're refusing to feel comfortable. In other words, I think all the insecurity is in our head (well, most of the time).
Because here's the truth... or what I hope is near the truth. God ensures that we are truly capable of anything we desire. We can truly do ANYTHING that's within his will for our lives. He makes this promise to us, and yet so many of us doubt him. We get uncomfortable, we shy away from new experiences because we're too scared to accept the challenge. We're too afraid to fall face first.
So here I am Lord... I'm scared. I'm nervous that I may only have one more year of college left to figure out what's next. But I trust you. I know in my heart that you have given me strength and courage and talent and determination and passion for life.
And I'm ready to use it.
I'm ready to be your ambassador.
PS- Sorry I've been on a bit of a vacation. ;)
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
Philippians 4:13
Peace.Love.Inspiration.
Meaghan
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