Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Learning to Live, Love and Carry On

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I doubt.
I wrestle.
I hardly ever settle.
I expect the most of myself.
I long to please and to succeed.
I won't stop and rest until my feet won't move.
I drive myself crazy to the point of pure exhaustion.

All for what?

Sometimes I wonder who I'm trying to please. I convince myself that I should have to live up to something or someone, and I feel defeated when I consider myself falling short.

All for who?

I have no idea.

Why can't we accept the fact that we are always enough? We can't I come to understand that we'll succeed no matter how hard we try. I'm constantly trying to convince myself that we don't have to live up to anything—no one can keep us from being happy and completely fulfilled besides ourselves. We can feel good about ourselves regardless of what we do or accomplish. We decide when, where, and how we are happy. We decide how to live, love, and ultimately carry on.

So what am I chasing? Where am I really running to?
I hope I'm running home.

"Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind."
Ecclesiastes 1:16-17



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